Random...

Gavin has been gone for a week, and he still has 10 days left!! He's been gone before, but this time it's different because he's talking and learning so much. I feel like every day that he's away from me he will learn something new that I'm not a part of (selfish i know). I am, however, overly joyed that he is spending time with his grand and great grandparents. It really makes me happy when I know that he brightens their world. When I was pregnant with him I was so afraid that noone would love him. Maybe it's one of the crazy things that happen with pregnancy and the whole insecurity thing, but yes I did fear that. Now it's so hard to imagine anything of that nature with all the wonderful family that he has to love him. I am very grateful.

So this week is supposed to be a week of production since lately I seem to use Gavin as my excuse for not getting things done. So I have started putting things in my wedding album, I started my diet, I am registering for school, we are going to paint my dresser and nightstand tomorrow, and I am currently writing this blog! I know some of you do those things and more, but please let me have my moment =) Anyways, I never meant for my blogs to be a recap of my life, but that's all that seems to come out lately. Hopefully I will be more inspiring in the near future.

"O how he loves us"

I'm listening to this song before I get ready for work, and I can't help but think back over my life. "O how he loves us" It's so amazing that despite everything His love is still so strong and amazing. I didn't get to go to service yesterday for Easter because I had to work, but in the morning before work I asked God to be with me all day. I just wanted to feel him. We have a morning devotion for the residents at the nursing home where I work, and we usually sing a couple of hymns at the end. Yesterday we sang "How Great Thou Art" and "Because He lives." In the middle of our singing I noticed several residents, family members, and staff with tears streaming down their faces. They were truly singing how great He is, and the atmosphere was so beautiful. Most of them have short term memories or alzheimer's disease. So today they may not remember yesterday at all, but I know I will. O how he loves us.

"... It's learning to dance in the rain"

I used to write a lot, but lately there always seems to be something more important to do. However, this week I have made it a priority to start again, if for no other reason but to exercise my mind a bit. My vocabulary for a month now has consisted of two syllables words; ba ba - bottle, bo bo- Elmo, po po- poop. Not that I don't enjoy hearing my one year old learn to talk. It is by far one of the most wonderful feelings in the world. (We even loved it when he learned to say "no." Just for the simple fact that he can now communicate with us when he does or doesn't want something, instead of constant whining.)

If you know me, then you know our story. Life for the past two years has been rather unconventional and unexpected. For those of you who may have been disappointed, I apologize. For those of you who were there through it all, I Thank you. Difficult times have a way of bringing out true friendships and lifetime relationships, and we were so blessed to have loving people all around us. Hopefully one day I will get a chance to let each of you know just how important you are to our lives.

This past October I married my best friend. We are really quite different, but the longer we are together the more I realize how much I need that difference. He's calm when I am a wreck. He is patient when I want to yell at the car next to us. He is always on time when I always think I still have another 20 minutes. When I wanted to give up, He wouldn't let me. I guess it's true "opposites attract," and I'm thankful he chose me.

I have the greatest little boy in the world. His name is Gavin. He is 15 months old and into absolutely everything. He loves to throw things into the bathtub and toilet, and he thinks that the word "uhoh" means he can get out of anything bad that he has done. Everytime I hug him I cry thinking that some day he will be the cause of grey hair for Pancho and I, and I treasure every time he comes to me for comfort. He is my little light, my little man.

We are in the process of making decisions for our future. It's very exciting! I do understand there will be challenges ahead, but I believe we're ready. A new chapter for our little family. A new day away from the memories of yesterday. A lovely chapter....